Back Home in Alabama

December 30-January 14:
Tammy: We woke up feeling very weary from the journey. Somehow, Curtis managed to go to church with all the kids. I wondered at the time where he got the strength. I decided that I better stay home and try to recover before we had to go and greet family and friends at the funeral home for the visitation at 5:00 pm. I received a call from our longtime friend, Beverly Fuqua. She was calling to tell us that she had prepared lunch for our family and she and Jack would be delivering it in a couple of hours. It was a welcome call. She said in her sweet, southern voice, “I started to send flowers and I felt God speaking to me to make lunch for ya’ll instead.” God was speaking indeed. Beverly listened. The kids had managed to consume all the groceries while we were gone and hadn’t had a chance to restock. They all took turns staying at the hospital with Mimi, along with some of Mimi’s friends, and some family, Aunt Cyndy, (Tammy’s sister) Marmee, (Tammy’s Mother) and Eric, (Ginger’s fiancé). Ginger and Dima had both continued to work through all of it. We told them we wanted them to go on with Christmas while we were gone and also open presents on Christmas morning. The Sunday before Christmas, the Hornsby family had their party at Uncle Brad’s, (Tammy’s brother’s house) and then our kids, plus Eric, ate Dinner on Christmas day at Aunt Cyndy’s. Aunt Cyndy had a houseful. We felt it was good for the kids to get to be with some of the family in our absence. We’re so thankful for our family and friends for their support during the past few months.

We managed to get through the visitation later that afternoon and the tearful, but encouraging service the next day. Pastor Ron Higey, Mimi’s Pastor at Vestavia Alliance, officiated and offered words of comfort from the Bible and shared of the hope that we have in Heaven. Rev. Ivan Lay, a retired Missionary from Indonesia and a friend of our family, also read scripture and prayed from his heart. Sharon Roberts, a friend for many years from Westside Alliance, sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness". We were so thankful to Sharon for her willingness to sing in spite of some serious physical difficulties. Sharon was always Mimi’s favorite. Another blessing was Judy Gaskin, an active Missionary in Indonesia, in the states on a speaking tour, was able to attend both days. Judy gave a testimony during the service of Mimi’s friendship and support to her as a Missionary for many years. Pastor Blake Lindsey and his family, the campus Pastor at the Riverchase service where we attend, along with Pastor Layne Schranz, came to offer their support. I wondered before the service, because it was New Year’s Eve and so many people were still out of town and traveling home from Christmas, if many people would be able to attend. We were amazed that 150 friends and family made a special effort to attend the visitation and funeral service. We can’t say enough to thank everyone for the acts of kindness, the food, cards, emails from around the world, phone calls, flowers, and donations given to the Great Commission Fund in Mimi’s honor. She requested this in lieu of flowers because the ministry of Missions was always so important to her. We’re thankful for the families who helped us by having our kids over to spend the night or the day, so we could take care of many overwhelming details. The support of others has carried us through a very sad and difficult time.

The saddest part to me was driving back to the grave site later, to check on the gravestone. It had been accidentally bumped at some point and slightly damaged. All the people were now gone. The flowers were piled in a heap on Mimi’s grave. It was done. It was over. It seemed so final. She was in heaven now with her Sweetheart, Grandaddy. As I’m recalling this, I’m reminded this is an adoption journal, as we’re recording our account of something very happy and exciting in our lives. Only God knows why He would weave into this bright, joyful experience some dark threads of grief and sorrow. We can’t see the tapestry He is making. The only perspective of the tapestry we can see is a mess. He sees the perfect, beautiful picture He is creating. Someday we’ll know why He does what He does, in the timing that He does it. For now, we must simply trust Him. He is a Great, Awesome, Mighty, Loving God. And Mimi is with Him, enjoying His presence and the presence of Angels. She couldn’t even walk before she died. Now she is strong and well again. And I think, just like a friend, Mike Hanscom wrote in an email, that she is dancing with her Frank on streets of gold right now. That’s our comfort. That’s our peace. We’ll see her again. Pastor Layne told Curtis that after he left the funeral, he had to go to the hospital to visit a couple who had just had a baby. So, he was honoring one life on earth that just ended, and one life that was just beginning, meeting her parents and new family. As Curtis shared this with me, I was actually reminded that Mimi’s life is also just beginning, but in a new place, in heaven. So, in many ways she is like that newborn baby, starting all over and being re united with her parents and other family after so many years of separation.

The days that followed were filled with visits to lawyers, banks, back again to the funeral home several times, and other post funeral business. We also were frantically trying to get our flights back to Ukraine and weren’t being given much hope for all five us getting a return flight together.
Finally, Curtis was able to arrange our flights there and back. We packed and prepared our home to leave once again. The kids were not excited to say goodbye to us again. They knew it would be about ten days. We weren’t exactly looking forward to being away from them again or enduring the long, tiring flight. Still we had to press on and finish the course set before us. God called us to a task of going back for these boys, and that was the only joyful part in this scenario. We were excited at the thought of bringing them home.

Curtis woke up on Friday, January 11th very excited because he knew the time was drawing near. Our adrenaline began to flow and we managed to get all the last minute details in order. There is always so much to do, from finishing up bills, getting the kids’ school issues taken care of, restocking groceries, packing, arranging transportation to dental appointments while we’re gone, the list goes on. I think if we were still there, we would still be getting ready. J

Jan. 12th, was the day we chose to celebrate my birthday. Curtis made a reservation at Macaroni Grill at the Summit. He made it early for 5:30 pm so we could come home and finish packing. It was just our family of seven and Eric joined us. I enjoyed the food and the opera singer’s version of the birthday song in Italian. The waitress brought me a dark chocolate birthday cake with a candle. It looked scrumptious. It had dark chocolate sauce drizzled on top with dollops of whipped cream all around the plate. I had been fasting dessert and bread and was going to allow myself this one treat. I couldn’t wait to try it. We passed it around the table and I served myself a piece. I took one bite. Hhmmm. It tasted different from what I was expecting. I took another bite. I wondered why it tasted so odd. The waitress returned a few minutes later smiling, and asked me if I liked the cake. I honestly admitted, “Well, it’s not great.” She looked surprised at my honesty. “Really?” she asked. “What is it about it that you don’t like?” I told her it was the cake, not the chocolate drizzled or the whipped cream. She said, “Well, the reason I’m asking, is I don’t like it either. It has mayonnaise in it.” We all responded with, “Mayonnaise!!?” I had heard of putting mayonnaise in cake and biscuits, but I sure wasn’t expecting it to be in this yummy looking cake. This sparked a little memory from our first adoption trip to Berdyansk and I had a flash back as the waitress was still talking. We went to what was supposed to be an authentic Italian Restaurant in Berdyansk that served pizza. Curtis and Ginger and I were so happy to be getting pizza after weeks of eating Ukrainian food. However, one bite into the pizza told me someone had their facts wrong. We were very surprised to find there must have been a whole jar of mayonnaise hidden on top of the pizza under a smooth layer of cheese. Curtis hates mayonnaise and I can’t say I like it on pizza. Mayonnaise to Curtis is like a disease. He immediately pushed his chocolate cake away. I flashed back to the look on Curtis’ face when I told him the pizza had mayonnaise on it. Then I flashed back to Macaroni Grill and the waitress was still going on about how she doesn’t like the cake, “but hey, it’s free.” she said. It’s the day before we leave again for an adoption trip to Berdyansk and we’re in a truly authentic Italian restaurant. However, just like the Italian restaurant in Berdyansk and the pizza, we have a surprise with our cake… mayonnaise. God has a sense of humor for sure. Maybe, it’s a good sign.

Curtis woke up on Sun. Jan. 13th like a kid on Christmas morning. He was so energized he decided to drive Ginger to work at her downtown office at 7:00 am, and then go by Mimi’s house to get her mail. The purpose for this was so we could then meet Ginger back at her office later and she could drive us to the airport. He woke me up bouncing and happy. I was a little irritated by his energy so early in the morning, but was also excited.

We took the kids to attend the early service at the Riverchase campus, at Curtis’ prompting. Then, we drove to Ginger’s office and she took us the rest of the way to the airport. Baylee had spent the night at the Garrett’s the night before, Ella decided to stay home. Dima was meeting his Teacher, Jim Barnes for lunch after church. Only Brooke went along for the ride. As we hugged them both good bye at the airport, I couldn’t help but wonder how our story would turn out in the days that followed. I tossled Ginger’s reddish, blonde curls, and smoothed Brooke’s straight dark hair. Would we arrive back at that same location with three new brothers for them? I gave them one more tight hug, a kiss on the cheek and we were on our way. First flew to Cincinnati, then Frankfurt, and then Kiev. (You can tell Tammy is writing this, because she completely skipped over the flight details.) Valery greeted us in Kiev with a smile. It was good to see him and we chatted excitedly as we immediately made our way to the parking lot and taxi to drive to the Kiev airport. We asked about Yulia, and knew Karen would be arriving back in Kiev on the 16th, so we were just missing her. We had a smooth flight to Mariupol. We cautiously stepped off the plane into gentle gusts of icy wind. I had to be careful, because I had slipped on an icy patch in Frankfurt. Our driver, Sasha was waiting for us to take us to Berdyansk, back to our nice, warm rooms at the Hotel Berdyansk. We had only slept a few minutes here and there over the past 24 hours. Still, we made it.

Now….part 2 of our adoption journey begins.